Personality: Charisma Is Not Just One Character

A person can be distinguished in many ways.  It is what comes into mind when you are thinking or being asked about a person.  You can easily say he or she is thrifty, or silent, outgoing and etc. But no matter how many fine characteristics a single person may have, if a man has the charisma, for sure that would be the most uttered single-word description about him.  

 Of all the definitions of charisma in the internet and in books, there are a few that says what it really is. They don't tell you how to be charismatic rather, they define charisma by its effects.  But in my opinion, charisma is composed of select characteristics mixed in proper proportions.

Confidence – Most charismatic persons that I know of moves, speaks and acts fluently as if rehearsed a couple of times. Why? They seem to have this ability to be proper. They act accordingly and appropriately. Their flow of motions exude confidence that even when doubtful or unsure, they show it in a fashion that is less embarrassing on their part. It makes me think that the kind of confidence they have is not the boastful or proud type but the confidence that being human means the promise of excellence yet still can make mistakes.  I have observed a charismatic person show apology and shame in a dignified way as if the person came out of the movie screen, which at first makes you think about his being genuine but after only 5 minutes with him, you’d know he is for real. 

Genuine Kindness – A person with charisma can win over people with their genuine kindness. It doesn’t mean you always have to be charitable, but you can be generous by giving nice compliments when it is due, and by sharing what you have. For example I’ve always liked my neighbor who phones me every time she heard from the news that classes were suspended.  We both have kids and I think it’s nice of her to be sharing news even if I already knew. Also a person never fails to invite someone who always talks to him while they’re both waiting for a cab. Small talks can break the ice. You have to have the mindset that something you think is nice can be worth sharing and can be valued by others. Because most of the time we are only held up by fear or shyness.

Helpful – Being helpful is also another form of kindness. It is the willingness to extend your help in any way you can that makes you quite approachable.  Once you’ve established that, it leaves a mark on the people you’ve helped. They will always think of you as dependable and that’s how charming people start getting followers. The next time you offer anything, business, or you want to sell them something valuable, they’d trust you. 

Integrity – This can be the toughest one to build. What is Integrity? Integrity could come from being true to yourself and to others, from being consistently good in whatever line of work that you do...  Actually in Wikipedia alone it is defined as:a concept of consistency of actions, values, methods, measures, principles, expectations, and outcomes. In ethics, integrity is regarded as the honesty and truthfulness or accuracy of one's actions.” Do not pretend to be something you’re not in front someone just to please him. Do not be a hypocrite and talk strongly against things that you yourself are guilty of just because you need to impress. Just be yourself and work on your that self not by pretense and weaving lies but by consistently doing good in your career and personality. 

Basically these characteristics can become the catalyst that will bring out your charm. Charisma, like good luck, is not a single entity. Start working on your confidence level, your kindness, helpfulness and overall integrity and surely you’re on your way to becoming a charming person everyone likes. It's never too late to change.

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