Failing Points in Life

Attitude comes a long way, it does change a lot. And sometimes a single attitude changed, could mark a big difference in several aspects. If you hit it right, you might just hit more birds in a single stone. Finding out what or when your own failing point is, can’t be that hard. What’s harder is the accepting part. It always was and will be the blockage that keeps us stagnant and unproductive.
Human ego is a powerful entity. It drives you like what they call coaster in railroad lingo; unmanned and clueless of self harm. Seems like the phrase “Hold your horses” apply, don’t you think so?
Here are some failing points I’ve encountered and what applying certain changes could do to a person’s fate.

#1 Quitting or getting tired of what you do.
First off, you wouldn’t be doing something if you weren’t good at it. You get hired for a certain job no matter how little it is, because you CAN do it. No hiring manager would be so foolish to pick the wrong person for the job. Even you wouldn’t hire a plumber to do electrical unless he is also an electrician. If you are doing something you’re not good at and you have something that you do better at, and then you have all the right to get tired and quit. But if you have no other skills to get you by then you’re mad if you’re thinking of quitting.    

 I have suffered the consequences of quitting too many times that the fortune teller told me I passed on so many opportunities in my life, and I believed her. Not because I believe in fortune telling but because it may be that obvious already.  I did it so many times, I can already admit without feeling defensive that I am or was indeed a quitter.  My brother’s advice was something about doing a thing for a living while you can still do it. Being an employee even if your dreams are pretty much bigger than what a day job will ever afford for you. Because he said, in time, you may have enough security to pursue your dream life. 

#2 Dreaming too big and too often.  
It’s free to dream big but it doesn’t mean you’re free to dream too often. Are you? Being free to do so much daydreaming is a false constructive way of spending time. Why did I coin such a phrase? I don’t know if a coined term as “false constructive” already exists in any kind of lingo but I’m using it to deter my readers from two possible negative effects. One, your dreams will somehow start small and then it gets bigger and bigger until such time your hopes of achieving them fades to black.  Two, dreaming big too often will not be serving its purpose of fueling your engine of determination. It will make you feel what you do for a decent living isn’t the thing that you’re supposed to be doing because you have big dreams. You will be like the unmanned speeding train that eventually gets derailed; out of track. Apparently, I like using trains.  
You don’t want to be chasing pavements your whole life through.  I know I wrote in my previous post “Don’t jump back into the same routine. Don’t find low paying jobs like you used to have thinking comfortably that you could easily get rehired to work on jobs that you have done before.” This is for those who clearly are on the wrong career. When you think what you’re doing isn’t really your forte and you have a skill that you know for sure you can do better, then shift to that path. If you are currently doing what you think you do best at, then keep it and don’t be fooled by derailing yourself from that steady forward moving track just because you dream of your own island too soon. 

#3 Do not  try to please.
The thing about accomplishments and goals is that we often find the wrong motivations for them.  I have been living in the shadows of two blessed siblings. Since we were schooling I was always compared to them, I was treated indifferently because I’m nothing like them. That was how I used to think.  I see my mom so proud and attentive to their needs. So I strive so hard to get my parents to acknowledge my efforts. BUT the problem with that thinking is that you can’t please others no matter how hard to try… because it really doesn’t go that way. Others are pleased because simply put they are pleased.  It’s their emotion. Another thing that makes this a bit more of a hindrance is that whenever things go right and you still weren’t able to please anyone, there is a tendency that you will drop that opportunity to shine. You will think that it’s no good because it didn’t please anyone and you will pass on it. I know coz I did, so many times. That I got to the point of being secretly so angry with the person whom I was trying to please. I blamed the person for all the passed opportunities. I blamed the person for my wreck. 

Enlightened as I am now, I can tell you guys that working towards a goal is what it is: working towards a goal. If you happen to accomplish them, you may feel pleased. Others may be pleased. But that’s an added bonus only. You don’t think of pleasing yourself or others while planning your goals, because it comes AFTER you have accomplished anything. You can’t plan on pleasing yourself or others. There is no such career.  

There you go.  It’s always been a good feeling after I’ve shared the lessons I’ve learned from failing. I’ve written too much for a single post already. Thank you for your time. And I wish you all well. 


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